There 're something about Marriage!!!

I  recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge

than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

Husband and wife become two sides of a coin after the marriage;

they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.  

If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. 
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want? 
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time

to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelit, dinner,

soft  music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me

and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is

to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. 
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. 
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berl

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day 
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:  

"You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy  

"You're lucky,  mine's still alive."